how to talk to kids about moving

In this article:  

• How to talk to kids about moving: easy tips for parents 
• What to do if your family is moving: supporting your child’s feelings 
• Helping your child when a friend or loved one moves away 
• Explore more free mental health resources from on our sleeves 

When you hear the word “moving” how does it make you feel?  

Whether it’s your family making the move or someone close to you, transitions like this can stir up big emotions—excitement, worry, sadness, and even loneliness. You may be wondering how to talk to your child about moving.

Moving is common for many families; in fact, a study by the MacArthur Foundation found that children moved an average of 2.5 times between birth and eighth grade! That means your child will likely either move or know someone who will. Knowing how to talk to kids about moving can help them process these feelings and feel more supported during the change. 

“Change is hard—especially for kids who thrive on routine and familiarity. Moving can feel like their whole world is shifting,” says Emily Weitz, BSW, LSW, a mental health expert with On Our Sleeves. 

While the On Our Sleeves team can’t pack your boxes or drive the moving truck, we can help you navigate the emotional side of moving. Before you get started, take a look at our blog on how to start the conversation with kids and keep them going. Then use these tips to help your child cope with a big change like moving. 

how to talk to kids about moving

No matter if you’re the one moving or a friend is moving, when you’re having the conversation about the upcoming change you want to remember:  

1. Focus on your own feelings: Take some time to think about and work through your own feelings and emotions about the move. While it’s good for your child to see and hear about your own emotions; we want to be careful that they don't feel they need to become our support system.  
2. Use clear language: You want to be as clear as possible when discussing the move. Don’t use phrases and sayings like, “We are going away for a while” or “Our friends are going on an adventure.” You will want to explain exactly what is happening. For example, say, “We are moving” or “your friend is moving.” Give them specifics where you have them to offer them more of a sense of comfort. 
3. Create an environment that allows for everyone's feelings: It is important to remember that everyone reacts to things differently. Some kids will be really excited to move while others will be hesitant, sad, or even angry. Allow your child to share their feelings and just listen to them. Try not to push your own feelings on them or to assume what they might be thinking. Assure them it is okay if they feel happy and sad at the same time. 

helping kids adjust to moving 

Here are some extra tips to try if you and your family are moving to a new place.  

• Picture the house: Find ways to get your child familiar with the new house and their new environment. The most ideal way would be to visit the new home several times before moving in. If this is not possible, some alternatives would be to look at pictures of the house, draw pictures of the house, or even create the house out of blocks or Legos. Talk with your child about each room, what it’s for, and what types of things you will do in each room.  
• Get the kids involved: The more you can get your child involved, the more control they will feel over the moving process. Let them pack a bag or box with their favorite things or clothes. If possible, let them make decisions about the paint color or other decor in their new bedroom.  
• Remind them of the familiar things moving with them: A lot of newness can be overwhelming for anyone! Help your child recognize which of their familiar things are going with them. This can include people they’re used to living in the house with pets, or even belongings! You can even label their furniture with their name on it so when it is in the new house they can remember that although the room might be new, their furniture came with them.  
• Allow all feelings, even negative ones: It might be hard for us to understand why they might be sad about their new big, beautiful house but remember that change can be difficult for kids and to give them time to adjust. Don’t take on their negative feelings. We don’t have to “fix” everything for them. All people go through negative emotions and sitting and listening to them can help them feel supportive.  

talking to a child about their friend moving

Here’s how you can support your child if they find out their friend or family member is moving! 

• Be open and truthful: Give them time to process the information. If possible, tell them about the friend moving as soon as you know about it. Do not wait until the last minute to talk with them! Start talking to them about it as soon as possible so they have time to work through their feelings and adjust to the idea. 
• Create or exchange keepsake: This could be a photo album, friendship bracelet, keychain, or even having a stuffed animal to remember the person by.  
• Show them where their friend is moving: This can be on a map, globe, or even some pictures and videos on the internet. This will help them understand and visualize better where their loved one or friend is moving to.  
• Plan a future meetup: This could be an in-person meet-up or a virtual meet-up. Put it on the calendar and remind your child of when the meet-up will be. This will help them to see that even though their friend or loved one is not near them physically, they can still maintain that relationship.  
• Remind them of other friendships: Let them know that spending time with other friends does not mean they are betraying their friendship with the person who moved away. Help schedule some playdates with other friends or sign them up for activities they enjoy so they have a chance to make friends with people that have common interests as they do.  

Moving is a tough topic to tackle with our kids. It is one of those moments where we look around and ask ourselves “Where is the instruction manual?” While we can’t tell you exactly what to say, using these tips can help you navigate this topic with your child.  

mental health resources from On Our Sleeves

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