blog post
helping kids through sadness and depression
in this article:
- how to tell when kids are sad
- what you can do when your child is sad
- what to do if things aren't getting better
- conversation starters when your child is sad
- more resources from On Our Sleeves
Children are going to have times in life when they feel sad: They may be bummed they didn’t get picked for a team or feel bad about doing poorly on a test. Sadness is a normal human emotion.
Unfortunately,40% of youth have reported feelings of persistent sadness and hopelessness. When sadness persists for more than two weeks, there’s a risk for depression—a mood disorder that can negatively affect a child’s daily life.
So what’s the difference between sadness and depression? And what can I do to help my child when they feel sad or when I'm worried it is more than just sadness?
spotting sadness
Children may tell you when they feel sad, but sometimes they might not have the words. Usually, children will show signs of sadness with their facial expression, body language, what they are doing (or not doing) and how they react to questions. It’s important to remember that children may display their sadness differently than adults and the reasons they may feel sad could range from misplacing their toy to losing a grandparent.
No matter the reason, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings, being sure not to dismiss them even if it doesn’t seem like a “big deal” to us,
Be sure to watch out for consistent sadness, as it could indicate that the child is going through something more significant, like depression.
what can I do when my child is sad?
1. Have a conversation
If your child seems down but hasn’t brought it up, they may have a hard time identifying or talking about how they are feeling. Reaching out shows you care, which can help them pinpoint what they’re going through and open the pathway for a good discussion.
- Remember to ask open ended questions, validate their feelings and listen. For example – “How long have you been feeling this way?” or “It can be really hard to lose a toy you really like” or “Thank you so much for sharing how you’ve been feeling lately.”
- Sometimes children may not be ready to talk. It is still important to share with them that you care and are open to talk with they are ready.
- Try to limit questions to allow them to process and problem-solve if needed. It’s okay to ask how you can help. For conversation starters about sadness, you can download our free worksheet.
2. Encourage them to do something
If you notice your child is isolating, suggest they join you in an activity or get up to do something. Being active or accomplishing something can help prevent them from getting stuck in their feelings. It may not fix everything, but it shows that you care and could boost trust between both of you while also boosting their mood.
what if it's not getting better?
If you see multiple symptoms in your child from the depression side of the table above for more than 2 weeks and it is causing problems in their daily activities, it may be depression and you’ll want to see a professional mental health therapist.
1. Start with your child’s primary care provider
Talk to your child’s doctor about their behavior including any concerning statements they’ve made and any changes in sleep, energy or eating. Let the doctor know if the child has had an upsetting event, loss or trauma occur that could have started this mood change. Ask the doctor for a referral if they think it would help.
2. See a licensed mental health therapist
If you think your child may benefit from seeing a mental health provider, set up a visit. Explain to the child what will happen during the session and check in after the session to see if the therapist is a good match
3. Other options
You may not want to consider medication options right away but keep an open mind if your physician recommends it.
the takeaway
You can be helpful to children and teens with sadness or depression. You can also connect with their pediatrician or a mental health professional for more resources.
You or your child can call, chat or text the 988 Crisis & Suicide Lifeline or text the Crisis Text Line by texting "start" to 741-741 for help at any time. If you’re concerned for their safety, call 911 or go the nearest emergency room.
free download: conversation starters when your child is sad
Build connection by starting the conversation with your child. If you're looking for ways to start the conversation, you can use our Conversation Starters about Sadness to get started. It guides conversations about your child’s emotions.
Click the orange button to download your worksheet now. Also available en español
Download Your Conversation Starters Here
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