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1/19/14blog post

talking to teen boys about sex


My boyfriend found out that my 13 year-old-son was looking at sex videos on the internet. I know this is normal for his age, but I’m not sure what to do. My boyfriend has suggested that he talk to my son and they view some acceptable sites together. I want my son to have a healthy attitude about sex and don’t want him thinking that sex is bad.


Your boyfriend’s desire to view pornographic sites with your young teen is creepy and very concerning. Isn’t that enough to cause you to end that relationship?

With respect to your son, recognize that about 15 percent of teens admit to intentionally seeking sexually explicit material online or in print. However, with the widespread availability of the internet, most experts think that a majority of teens have viewed pornographic material.

There is little research on the impact of pornography on kids, so you have to do what seems right to you as a parent. Pornography is not a good way to teach your child about sexuality and most parents try to protect their kids from exposure to such material. Why don’t you use this incident as an opportunity to engage your teen in an ongoing discussion about normal sexual feelings and behaviors?

Sex education is all about teaching your child about values and health. Discuss the significance of sexual activities within a committed relationship and your own moral views about when sexual relationships are appropriate.

With the extraordinarily high rate of sexually transmitted diseases among youth, have a frank conversation about safe sexual practices. Don’t view this as a one-time lecture but the beginning of an ongoing conversation with your son.